Strangest thing happened at work today. We had a guy come in at 6:30 am to look around the dark store...can't you see the lights are off and we are closed? The Coffee Garden is open this early not the bookstore. Why are you browsing when you obviously have no intention of buying anything. Whatever, dude.
After a couple minutes, he comes back and asks me where we keep the questionable material which I tell him we, of course, have none (and I am not sure he would have bought it if we had). He then asks my name, what I like to do, yada yada. Why are you talking to me creepy guy? Anyway, he asks about the bathroom (mm hmm, nasty, right?). Now for those who don't know we have a huge problem with homeless people using the bathroom for unsavory purposes so a couple months ago we finally got a lock for the door and put the coffee shop in charge of the key (since they had to clean up all the unsavory things). So I directed him to the coffee guy and tried to get some work done. He proceeds to use the bathroom then wander the dark, unlit store for an half an hour before giving the key back (we told him to take it back and he just kept wandering). Then he gets coffee, talks to the coffee guy for a while, then finally leaves at about 8:00 am, but not before asking me a couple more 'get-to-know-me' questions.
Flash forward to 9:15 am when I need to use the bathroom. I grab the key and take it back. Huh. I think. This looks different for some reason. Something is off about this key and the wire it is hooked onto. Shrugging my shoulders, I try to insert it into the lock and find that it doesn't fit...Strange. After feeling like an idiot for not being able to insert a key into a lock, I return to the coffee garden and ask the coffee guy if they changed the lock or got a new key or something. He gives me a confused look and says that it worked for him this morning and that the only guy who had it was...yep the creepy guy. We figure he took the key back to the bathroom, undid the wire, switched it with a different key (while wandering the store in the dark), then returned it and left.
Seriously? Are you kidding me? Why would you steal the bathroom key? Do you think it opens up the front or back door or something? Were you just being a jerk? Are you some kind of bathroom key kleptomaniac? Well, whatever, just know that you will never again be welcome here. If you dare come back I will karate-chop you straight out the door! Good thing we had a spare, also.
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